So I think I can dance.

Are you looking for someone with abundant enthusiasm and highly unique moves to come to your dance party? Well, I am that person. Allow me to provide photographic evidence from two recent weddings I attended. Proof that I don't just cut a rug -- I eviscerate that rug with razor-sharp dancing stilletos, then I douse it in tiger blood and set it ablaze with my smoldering dancefloor facial expressions. I've conveniently named each dance move for you, so you can request your favorite one when I come to your dance party.

***WARNING: I don't think you're ready for this jelly.***

These first three are from our friends Claire and Ryan's awesome wedding at Mercury Hall right here in the ATX.

The Hallelujah Double Reverse Flip-Off.

The Raise Your Hands If You're Sure.

The High Five Me, Sister.

These next several are from our friends Madeleine and Matt's wedding in LA. (At the Hollywood BOWL, y'all. We have fancy friends.) Matt has this move called Dance Rambo that really deserves its own post entirely. Perhaps its own whole fan club.

The This Drink Is Rather Tart, Come Try A Sip.

The Naughty Velociraptor.

The Here Comes The Airplane.

The Praise Jesus. (Subtly different from the Raise Your Hands If You're Sure.)

The Mm-AHH Went The Little Green Frog.

The Oh No You Di-in't.

And my all-time favorite: Atomic Jazz Hands.

Obviously you want me at your wedding, bar mitzvah, office holiday party, gala, mixer, or retirement dinner. Just tell me when to be there.